I want to be…(wedding speech part two)

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Oh my giddy aunt I can’t believe what I put myself through with that reading. I wrote something on Friday then LUCKILY read it to my sister who told me it was ‘shit’. I spend the night before the wedding with the bride drinking wine pretending everything was fine. It was not.

I went home and slept, but due to jet lag I woke up at 2am and popped a sleeping pill that a friend had given me. Next thing I know it is 9.30am, my Aunty is in my bedroom shaking me to wake up. I woke up, realised the time, screamed ‘FUCK’ about 185746576876 times and then ran around the house like a maniac in a leopard print dressing gown.

I was supposed to be back at the brides house by 10.30.

After a lot of shouting I hid myself in a room and called all my friends to ask them if they had ever read anything at a wedding. If they said yes I made them read it to me over the phone but non of them were right. Also I had promised I would write it and I didn’t want to disappoint. Then, at about 10.25, it just happened – I wrote it. This is what came out…

(bear in mind my cousin was marrying a French man, thus the occasional French suggestion…)

Here goes..

I want to be…by Dawn Porter (WOOO HOOO)

I want to be all the things you need

|I want to be the book you read.

I want to be your coffee pot, if you like your coffee hot.

I want to be the car you drive

I want to be what you need to survive.

I want to be your little pet

I want to be your raison detre.

I want to you to feel like you could swim an ocean

Just from the power of my deep devotion.

I want to be the strength you find

When you think you are losing your mind.

I want to be your shot of gin

I want to be your biscuit tin.

I want to be the food you eat, the air you breath and the clothes you wear

I want to be your teddy bear, so you can take me everywhere.

I want to be your comfy bed

I want to be inside your head.

I want to be your morning croissant

And to fill your life with burning PASSION. *insert comedy French accent*

I want to be your dream come true

I just want you to love me like I love you.

Yeah, that’s right…I said ‘burning passion’ in a church.

But seriously, everyone loved it and after the panic I got myself in I was very proud.

If only they knew….

x x x